No update yesterday – sorry, I had to make up for the fact that I ditched my job last week like an ugly prom date by doing some “work” and stuff. Lots of important fake meetings and typing and pretend-filing… busy busy busy.
But I’m back! And how was the trip to Great Wolf Lodge you ask? Meh. It was alright. My GAWD was it ever American (I don’t mean that in a bad way… liiiiiike, American is good… Hip-hip-hooray, three cheers for America! Please don’t declare war on us America. We love you) but it was just loud and over the top and had singing mooses and bears and shit all over the place. Which, in actual fact, is pure genius cuz the kids would have spent the entire weekend listening to the talking, singing woodland creatures if we’d let them so those loud, over-the-top Americans do know a thing or two about entertaining kids.
We all slept in one big room together – to clarify that includes: me, my husband, my 2-yr-old, my sister-in-law, her 3-yr-old, my OTHER sister-in-law, her 4-yr-old and 7-yr-old and my mother in law. Ya, that’s a lotta people in one room. Oh, and did I mention the 3-year-old had a fever? And cried um pretty much the whole time? And my mother-in-law brought with her a rice cooker the size of hot-tub and we all huddled around it and ate meals for free in our room (no shit) (I’m sure it was against the rules of the hotel so shhhh don’t tell them or they’ll soooo sic a bounty-hunter raccoon or angry squirrel on us. It’s that kinda place)
Jules went on the little-people waterslides a few time but more than anything he really just wanted to splash around in the shallow water and I couldn’t help but feel haunted by the fact that we could have found the same level of entertainment at ANY PUBLIC PARK IN TORONTO WITH A WADING POOL FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF FREE but whatever. Then we went to do a little cross-border shopping (some brands are wicked expensive in Korea, apparently, like Polo for example, and thus the sister-in-law from Korea went hog wild snatching up $20 polo shirts at the outlet mall like free Avent No-BPA sippy cups (did I ever mention this to y’all? Please pardon the digression: Avent was offering a promotion of 2 free sippy cups to anyone who called in between certain dates to make up for all the BPAs they’d been leaching to our babies over the past several years and I guess they grossly underestimated how kookoobananas mamas go over free shit and got waaaaay more people calling than expected but they still have to honour it and send us all our free stuff – suckas. Someone at Avent’s getting fired fer sure but meanwhile I have a Purolator package just waiting to be picked up. YEEEHAW FREE STUUUUUUFFF! BTW it does sooo make up for any BPAs Jules ingested heretofore. BPA-sphmeePA send me more stuff for freeeeee!) Anyhoo, where was I? Ah yes, the outlet mall. Have I mentioned that Julian’s turned into a bit of a crazy persona lately and is doing some very unpleasant things like throwing toys when he’s frustrated with them and hitting whatever is in his general vicinity when he gets angry? (it’s usually a wall or a table and it hurts him more than anything and thus I was hoping the problem would just kind of take care of itself but it seems toddlers, unlike lab rats, will continue to exhibit behaviours even when they have learned that said behaviours cause them immediate pain. Interesting) Ya so it’s nice. Good times. And I’m sending out Naughty Step passes like there’s no tomorrow and while we were in Old Navy Jules happened to get a little angry and HIT ME for the very first time and so I marched him out of the store and told him to sit against the Old Navy store window and not move and I walked a little ways away and sat on a bench and pretended to ignore him while he bawled and bawled but then people kept passing by and thinking he was lost and I had to shoo them off and explain that he was not lost just a bit of a dramatic toddler a**hole and he kept refusing to apologize and it took AGES for him to finally hyperventilate out an “I’m-hic-sorry-hic-for-hic-hitting-hic-you-hic-mommmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeee” which was just as well because we had no money to spend on clothes in an outlet mall so it was kind of fun creating a dam into Old Navy by setting up the Naughty Step Tableau Picture Window…
Anyway, the weekend was full of:
1) lots of waterslides (YAY!)
2) lots of crying (BOO)
3) lots of happy, frolicking by Jules (YAY!)
4) lots of naughty steps and angry-mom-voice (BOO)
5) lots of eating of m&ms & Doritos (YAY!)
6) lots of running around in public in a bathing suit (BOO)
(this last was much harder on the general public than it was on me since I couldn’t actually see myself)
We did manage to spring for some winter jammies for Jules at Carter’s because they are my absolute favourite of all the fuzzy footie pajamas and will force Julian to wear them until he is 17 because no matter what he just looks so cute and little and cuddly while wearing them. In fact, I’ll force him into them when we get home even if it’s 35 degrees in our apartment and take a pic so you can all share in the cute-osity.