Okay, so earlier today I got an email from one of my most hilarious friends who also tends to occasionally blindside me with a thought-provoking globally-responsible Forward (gawd, thinking about other people is so exhausting and stuff) so this one said something about China and Earthquake and Pandas and I thought “Fan-flimn-flamin-tastic, is this going to be pictures of devasated Panda families mourning the loss of their Panda relatives who, naturally, would be depicted in a bloody Panda massacre trapped under a fallen great wall or some Panda-loving crap?” and of course I opened it immediately and… oh my… what a pleasant surprise when it turned out to be…
This guy! All, “why ya gots ta get all up in my grill when I’m still lookin for closure on that whole earthquake fiasco?”
And these two who are just “*gasp* …omigod… *gasp* …solid ground… *gasp* …no quaking… *gasp* …thank f*cking god… hey, is that a rocking horse?”
Not to mention: “wwwwhhhhoooooaaaaa fellas, this your bamboo shoot? I-I-I just lookin fuh somethin ta eat post-quake ya know?”
Anyway, I’d forgotten just how cute Pandas really are and so because I think we’re just soooo effing hilarious I’ll share with you the email that came to pass between this particular friend and myself
HILARIOUS FRIEND: <<sends Panda email>>
KIRSTIN: Omg seriously, how did pandas get to be so cute? They must have sucked some serious evolutionary cock to get that cute
HILARIOUS FRIEND: they’re so cute because motherf*ckingnature had to attract us to them somehow… have you ever had a pandaburger? Can you say YUUUUMMMMMMMY?
KIRSTIN: I don’t know about no pandaburgers but I would KILL for some moo shu panda right now (they are Chinese you know)
HILARIOUS FRIEND: You know what’s not all that far from China? India. I’m sooo going out for panda masala today at lunch
…and so on and so forth, you get the gist… wait, what was the point? I really don’t remember… and I’ve just realized that I’m a 30-something-year-old woman with a blog on which I post pics of cute fuzzy animals and I think that means I deserve to die in a blazing inferno… inside a walmart… wearing a Garfield sweatshirt…. If you’ll excuse me I have to go throw myself off my balcony onto a bed of knives and torches.