GOLIATH: Oh Day-vey, why is this blog so effing boring? Even for two church-going losers like us it’s gotten pretty boring. It’s never updated and when she does post it’s pretty incoherent.
DAVEY: Goliath, you know that God doesn’t like it when we say mean things about other people’s blogs. And especially since we’re standing right in front of the church you probably shouldn’t be pointing out how lame this blog is. Let’s sing Kumbaya instead…”
GOLIATH: Oh Day-vey, you’re almost as bad as this blog. Don’t be surprised if you find a steaming pile of dogshit on your bed tonight
DAVEY: Goliath! Is that any way to talk to your best friend?
GOLIATH: Oh Day-vey, don’t you know by now I was only hanging out with you to get on tv? I was hoping to parlay this into a leading role in something cool like a K-9 cop show or some kind of doggie-salon extreme makeover
DAVEY: Goliath. I can’t lie to you. I’m very hurt.
GOLIATH: Yeeeeaah, well, you know what? I’ve had enough of you, your f*cking hard hair and pants that are conspicuously flat in the front, I’ve had enough of God and church and singing and all this bullshit. And most of all I’ve had enough of this blog. Peace out loooooosers.
(goliath walks away)
DAVEY: I’m feeling a strange emotion. I’m not sure what it is. But I can feel it welling up inside me…
* * * * * *
DAVEY: You mutherf*cking cocksucking shithead god damn…
INNOCENT BLOND HAIRED KID: mmmmphrumphghdled HELP mmmrmpth
