Oh no! Internet! I’m in trouble yet again (but not with my own undergarments this time thank GOD). I went into the bathroom at work and after the hand washing, etc. I stopped in front of this big wall of shelves that hold all kinds of emergency stuff (free tampons/pads, hand soap, hair de-frizzer, and much, much more). I stopped and put my hands on my hips and let out a big sigh and thought, “hmmm, what can I find here to either 1) entertain myself for the remainder of this OH SO BORINGEST of BORING days; 2) is there anything here I can steal for my own personal use thus saving me money from my monthly budget to, instead, spend recklessly on more alcohol and/or presents for me; 3) is there anything here that I can MacGyver into a fun activity for Julian to, once again, secure my position as coolest mom EV-VUR?” and I had just picked up a mysterious box (which turned out to be a big fat disappointing box of gauze pads) when a woman came in and gave me that, “I know what you did last summer you stole gauze pads from your new office for the purpose of personal gain” look and I quickly tossed the gauze pads back on the shelf and ran which was WAY the wrong way to go. Like, if I’d taken a gauze pad and feigned a pained expression and clutched my side at least I could have played off, like, stab-wound-requiring-new-dressing or recovering-from-recent-surgery but NO! I sold myself out by acting like I got caught and now it’s going to be a million times harder to steal stuff from the emergency bathroom stash because the office fuzz’ll be eyeballing me 24-7. I suck.
But maybe a free tampon’ll cheer me up…
Uh-oh. I’m officially an addict. Here’s hoping this all ends well with me coming BFFs with LiLo in rehab.
